28 Days to Ecstasy for Couples:
Tantra Step By Step

The techniques you will learn include conscious intention and attention, sexual physical fitness, intimate emotional connection, energy circulation and exchange between lovers, as well as sexual, ceremonial, and ritual play. Included with each day’s activities is an inspiring message—a thought for the day—related to relationship, sexuality, and spirituality. They help you focus on key elements of your relationship, such as profound intimacy, soaring passion, trust, surrender, and the most expansive love imaginable.

This book emphasizes action rather than ideas. It’s a companion playbook to our book Soul Sex: Tantra For Two, which is much more detailed in its treatment of Tantric concepts and their role in relationships. This book is short and directly to the point—to encourage you to actually add the practices of Tantric sacred sexuality into your active lifestyle.

Week 1
In this first week of practice you’ll learn the basic components of Tantric lovemaking skills: relaxation, focus, conscious breath, PC Pumping, loving connection.

Day 1

• Read through the full day’s practice before you begin.
• Choose which partner will be today’s guide.
• Time required for reading the exercises and practicing them: 20 minutes.

Grounding
Over the next 28 days you’ll be learning to work with your sexual energy. In order to do that, it’s very helpful to be in a relaxed state, feeling comfortable, safe, and focused. Grounding is a simple and quick way to become calm, centered, and present. Your intention while Grounding is to release tension, blockages, and negative energies from your system. You replace them with Mother Earth energy—strong, serene, and full of sensual vitality.

Time: 5 minutes

1. Sit comfortably, your feet flat on the floor, your back straight but not rigid, your hands in your lap, or on your thighs.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Take a big breath in and let it out. Repeat.
4. Relax your shoulders and belly.
5. Focus your attention on your lower belly and your genitals.
6. When your concentration on these parts of your body is strong, begin to imagine a connection extending from your body, from your genitals, down into the earth.
7. This can be any image that naturally occurs to you, or that you consciously choose. For example, it could be a tree trunk, a waterfall, an extension of your flesh, a hollow tube.
8. Picture that image stretching down from your body, through the chair you’re sitting on, through the floor beneath you, down through the ground below the building you’re in, down through the rock, the bedrock, and the earth’s crust, all the way to the molten core at the center of the earth. Some people may feel or hear their connection to the earth’s core, rather than see it—whatever your experience is, it’s the right one.
9. When you have your connection clearly formed, allow any overwhelming sensations, any negative energies, to leave your body through your lower belly and genitals, through your connecting bridge, down to the earth’s core.
10. Consciously release any anxiety, mental distraction, physical discomfort, fear, tiredness, doubt, judgment, over-excitement. Whatever you do not want in your system, allow it to flow down through your body, through your connection, like sand in an hourglass, or water down a drain.
11. When those unwanted sensations reach the earth’s core, they are transformed in that fiery blast. They return to you as Mother Earth energy. It rises up through your connection, bringing calm, strength, and sensual vitality.
12. Continue directing negative energies to flow down and away, and allow liveliness, serenity, and power to rise up into you.
13. To help you return to this grounded state more easily next time, use the process called anchoring. Touch a spot on your body that’s easy to reach and easy to remember. “Anchor” this grounded state to that spot.
14. Open your eyes and prepare for your Commitment Ceremony.

Renewing Vows of Commitment

If you’re in a committed long-term relationship, renew your vows every year. Do it privately or invite witnesses. In your ceremony, communicate all the ways you want, need, and love your partner. Add in any promises that you intend to honor, for example about fidelity or time together. Many of us have experienced the breaking of vows, so it’s unrealistic to assume that vows once spoken will last for life. By renewing them yearly you confirm that your commitment remains strong. It also gives you the opportunity to update your vows so they accurately and honestly convey how you feel about each other now. Consummate your vows with the most passionate lovemaking.