Soul Sex: Tantra for Two

Reunite Sex and Spirit

by Al Link and Pala Copeland

Sex and spirit are our passion – in living, working and writing. Our book, Soul Sex: Tantra for Two , shows couples how they can practically combine these two powerful forces to create a long-term, loving relationship. Through our mix of ancient Eastern sexual practices and modern western approaches to communication and intimacy lovers learn to connect in ways that are respectful, nourishing and lusty.

Our emphasis in Soul Sex  is on ardent monogamous relationship, why it is a spiritual practice, and how through it we can know God and serve the world. Thought-provoking discussions, personal anecdotes and precise but simple techniques inspire readers to apply these concepts in their daily lives. The observations and exercises we include are drawn from our own heady partnership and from the hundreds of couples we have had the privilege to teach at our Tantra sacred sex workshops.

 

 

Comments from Other Authors | Comments from Readers | Professional Reviews | Excerpts – PDF | Page Selections | Table of Contents | Order

 

Al & Pala’s Sexual Spiritual Transformation

 

 

• This is a useful, down-to-earth book written by real lovers for real lovers.

 

• Everything we write about we do in our own relationship to keep it healthy, hot and ever-evolving.

 

• Beautiful line drawings and black and white photographs help to illustrate exercises and techniques.

 

• Most of the models in the photographs are actual Tantra practitioners ~ ourselves (Pala and Al) and wonderful people (ages early 20s to late 50s) who have attended our workshops.

 

 

 

Keep Monogamy Hot!

Photographs by Bernard McCaffrey

       

 

Illustrations by Amanda Watters and Steve Copeland

           

 

 

 

Table of Contents

Read selections from Soul Sex with this free PDF file.

Preface Introduction Chapter 1: Relationship as Spiritual Practice Chapter 2: Creating Love Chapter 3: Celebrating the Differences Chapter 4: Sex and Spirit - Reuniting Heaven and Earth Chapter 5: Mastery and Surrender in the Art of Loving Chapter 6: Be Here Now Chapter 7: Energy Delights Chapter 8: Ejaculation Mastery and Male Multiple Orgasm

Chapter 9: Freeing the Female Orgasm Chapter 10: Planning and Ritual in Sacred Loving Chapter 11: Erotic, Relaxing, Healing Touch Chapter 12: Sexual Play Chapter 13: Soul Sex Simple Summary Appendix A: References and Resources Appendix B: List of Exercises Chapter Notes Index About the Authors

 

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Comments from Authors

Here’s what other authors have to say about Soul Sex:

Mantak Chia

Master Chia is Director of the Universal Tao Retreats training centers around the world and author of numerous books on sacred sexuality including the following best sellers:

• Healing Love Through The Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy
• Taoist Secrets Of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy
• The Multi-Orgasmic Man
• The Multi-Orgasmic Couple

“The core of Tantra and Tao acknowledge that through sexual love the relationship between man and woman can support the two of them on their return to the light. Copeland and Link present this work with enthusiasm and compassion. They represent the new generation of spiritual sexuality work that will give realistic support to sincere, dedicated couples.”

 

 

 

Dr. Beverly Whipple

Dr. Whipple, Vice President of the World Association For Sexology; President (2002-2003) Society For The Scientific Study of Sexuality; Past-President, American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists is the co-author of the international best-seller, The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality, which has been translated into 19 languages. ( Dr. Whipple, along with her co-author Dr. John Perry, named the G-spot!) Other books are Safe Encounters: How Women Can Say Yes to Pleasure and No to Unsafe Sex and Smart Women, Strong Bones and The Science of Orgasm.

“A book that focuses on the process and pleasure of sexual interactions, not on the goal of orgasm, with which I wholeheartedly agree. Although most of my research concerning sexuality has focused on neurophysiology, I am very impressed by the exercises and the depth presented in ‘Soul Sex: Tantra for Two.’ A very readable and useful sexuality guide.”

 

 

Josey Vogels, Canada’s premier sex and relationship columnist; creator of “My Messy Bedroom” and The Dating Girl. Her My Messy Bedroom column is widely syndicated throughout Canada and USA. She is also the author of the books: My Messy Bedroom: Love and Sex in the 90′s, More Love and Sex from My Messy Bedroom, Dating, and The Secret Language of Girls.

 

 

“Canada’s Tantric sex super-duo, Pala Copeland and Al Link, have been practicing and teaching the art of Tantric sex for years. They hold weekend retreats and host regular tropical getaways where couples spend a week at some fab southerly location staring into each other’s third eyes and learning to bonk the better way. Judging by the size of their smiles in the picture on their new book, Soul Sex: Tantra For Two, they’re clearly onto something. Soul Sex is for both beginners and the experienced, and uses the couple’s mix of ancient Eastern practices as well as some good old-fashioned Western sexual tricks to help couples create a deeper, more spiritual, and hotter connection.”

 

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What Readers Say

Read more reviews at Amazon.

“This is one of those books. I just read it and I already feel how much more I’m connecting with my girlfriend and that’s just over the phone. I can’t wait to see her and start working on this together. This book applies to our whole life. It’s about being human. There are so many things that we’ve forgotten about ourselves. Its all in there, in our head. We just have to get at it.

I never thought I’d be into this kind of stuff. But that’s the point. This is true. I thought it was ridiculous but its so obvious. As your reading, if you let yourself, you start to connect dots from all across your life. I’m so excited about this and I still have a long way to go. And I can’t wait to be with my girl, doing this together, as one.”

Alex (Bridgeport, WV, United States) on Amazon.com

 

“I’ve only read the intro, preface, and first chapter, but already, I LOVE this book. Easy to read and understand. Skimming through, I look forward to what I get to read…so far, I’m relating to this book immensely.”

Chelsea Brewer (Bakersfield, CA) on Amazon.com

 

“An outstanding, well written book that points out the obvious and the not so obvious points to make your sex life better than you could ever imagine. A must read for couples starting a relationship or looking for the extra spark to make a good relationship great.”

Duane Dohrmann on Amazon.com

 

“Best resource on the topic. Other books on Tantra left us a little disappointed. Not so with this one. Beautifully presented in a way that’s easily understood and appreciated, this book provides tools and insights that we really hoped to get. The authors have created such a valuable resource here — bravo!”

Sage Vivant,

March 4, 2006, San Francisco, CA, USA

 

“We absolutely loved the book. One of the best in the market place on this subject. Clear, easy to read, full of great information and of course, written with integrity. Can’t recommend it highly enough.”

Diane Mathews, Australia – August 23, 2005, posted on Amazon.com

 

“Lately I have become more frustrated with my life and the way I would like things to turn out. I read this book in one night and can’t wait to put what I have read in to practice. Thank you for your teachings. I will tell everyone about this book.”

Grey Wolf

 

“When I first decided to read this book the word, ‘Tantra’ really scared me. I really was scared that this book would go against my religious beliefs, and into some out of body experience type of psychic literature, but decided to go ahead, take a chance, and read it. I am definitely glad that I took that chance!

This book will NOT take you into some psychic world, but into a world where you and your mate will connect like never before. Only one word of caution, it might take you quite a while to read this book if you and your mate read it together. My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years, and this book brought us more together not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. You will understand your mate on a very different level. A definite read for any couple wanting to enrich their relationship on all levels.”

Epstein LaRue, RN, BS, author of “Love At First Type,” “Crazy Thoughts of Passion,” and “Highway Hypodermics.”

 

“It seems like every single chapter I read, it just blows my mind. There will be no more need to buy any more sexuality books. This is all I will need to give myself as well as a future partner true satisfaction.”

Raymond Moran, USA

 

 

 

“Let’s get one thing straight before we start. You don’t have to have a sex partner, or even a sex life in our society’s understanding of the term, to study Tantra.

 

‘If Tantra were just sex, my donkey would be my master,’ said Abhinvagupta, a Tantric master of the tenth century. This is funny, because donkeys are known to be well-endowed, but in any case the misconception has persisted. The word Tantric as applied to sex has rejuvenated the marriage manual over the last twenty years. Tantra is not sexual technique, it is a genuine spiritual practice, a rather iconoclastic one. It is intensely personal because it teaches the use of every situation in life to attain the natural honesty and spontaneity which is our true nature.

 

For centuries Tantra was anathematized in India, just because it recommended nothing and condemned nothing. Many there still believe its practitioners eat dead babies and what all. They are not entirely without reason–the famous Thugs were a Tantric sect, a murderously misguided one. There is no central Tantric authority, a Tantric Pope or College of Cardinals, to say this can be done but that can’t. And so anyone can use the word Tantra to describe their practice, and practice itself can include anything and everything. What gives Tantra a special kick for the Western mind is that it is spiritual, and it doesn’t exclude sex. That’s different from the spirituality we’re used to.

 

What many people think of as a Taoist or Tantric approach to sexual relations is concerned with prolonging sex from start to finish, that is, from foreplay to ejaculation. The goal is to bring satisfaction to the female partner, who often needs more time than the man to reach it. Naturally a happy wife makes a happy couple, but many men regard the prospect of this kind of thing with dread. Not only does postponing or worse, eliminating ejaculation look difficult, it threatens to take away most of the fun. Women may view it with a jaundiced eye because they’ve had their hopes raised so often in the past, only to be dashed over again.

 

And yet it can happen during sexual relations that for a moment or for hours, the partners, both of them, feel a oneness with all things which is infinitely poignant because it feels like the state we were born to live in all the time, our original nature. There is such peace and timeless beauty here that all questions are answered and all wounds are healed. It is a state of spiritual grace, and it goes beyond all goals. Tantrism and Taoism propose ways to reach this state in sexual union, but sex is very much not the only way they propose. In any case it is no small undertaking. At the very least it requires practice. It also requires time, two hours at least and more if possible, which means that the average couple’s normal time-slot for sex will not suffice.

 

Where does that leave the modern Western consultants, the ones who write books and offer workshops of a day or more? Pala Copeland and Al Link are two such persons who have experienced the timeless ecstatic state and offer to help other couples reach it too. They suggest ways to practice, they provide pictures, and if the reader wishes, he or she can enter the supportive environment the authors provide at their Canadian centre. There, partners can take advantage of the chance to spend more than seventeen minutes, or the continental average, making love. What they actually do with their time, and how they prepare, is the material of this book.

 

The authors make it clear from the outset of this rich and compassionate work that they are committed to their relationship as a spiritual practice. Everything that arises between them is an opportunity to deepen awareness. This makes them a genuine Tantric couple. Sharing their experience with others is the natural outflow of their commitment. The activities they propose, whether their own creations or gathered from other sources, have all helped them to ‘push the envelope’, grow beyond the self they think they are.

 

There are too many of these to list but they include heart talk, breathing, massage, positions, orgasm, the chakras, moving subtle energy or ‘ki’, rituals, and a rather imposing set of questionnaires meant to help you uncover the truth about your sexual attitude and conditioning. The whole is truffled with apposite quotations from William Blake to Zsa Zsa Gabor. A lot of reading has been done, but the result is not academic or overpowering; we simply find the occasional pearl.

 

There are many sexual exercises, a lot of practices with a meditative flavour, a good deal of the kind of explanatory talk that helps you to relax and feel grounded, and several personal stories and confidences. When Al and Pala talked on page 174 about how they learned, together, the challenging skill of circulating hot energy rather than letting it blow off in a discharge orgasm, they spoke to me.

 

I especially enjoyed their attention to relationship issues and ways of dealing with the ‘stuff’ that creates hurt and dissension when it is acted out. If students of Tantra get one thing out of the work, it should be this. Another key subject is the meditative attitude–how to learn detachment from mental events and remain in the here and now. It is clear that the authors have the knowledge of both meditation practice and psychology behind them. This is reassuring. One thing you don’t want Tantric training to be is centred on performance, sexual performance least of all.

 

Do the authors provide easy-to-learn steps that anyone can follow to Tantric bliss? No they don’t, and that’s good. But are they sex-positive and encouraging? You bet they are. The illustrations and personal anecdotes are pertinent and fun. Do the authors understand that Tantra is more than sex? Do they know that couples may have to deal with obstacles in their relationship, or undergo deep healing before they are able to reap the benefits of a Tantric approach? Do they realize that everyone’s experience is different but that the key to ecstasy is awareness–being here and now–and a loving heart? Yes to all these. Their work is based on personal experience, and they have met the obstacles they describe. If the very personal Tantric path is for you, and if you are active sexually, Pala Copeland and Al Link would be excellent coaches.”

By Toby Earp

 

 

 

“Honestly this is the best relationship book I have ever read. I read it in 2 days…couldn’t put it down! It has validated my feelings of wanting to get in touch with a more spiritual side of myself in the bedroom. I never knew there was a name for it. I am sending it on to my husband who is in Iraq. Needless to say, we can’t wait for his leave so we can try some of the techniques out. Al and Pala walk you through the steps to a more fulfilling relationship in this book. It is done in a very easy to relate to format. The other books I have read on this subject tend to be too clinical. I am so glad I found it.”

Sheralyn Hoskins, Fort Lewis, Washington, USA, March 16, 2004

 

“I stumbled on Soul Sex: Tantra for Two the other day and started to read it.

It makes so much sense right from the first few pages (there is more to sex than just friction).

I passed it on to my wife and now we’re reading it together (she loves it too).

Having been together for 22 years our sex life has been great until January of this year when Marie suffered a heart attack.Although she is recovering very nicely physically, the emotional aspect of it has been difficult even though we are spiritualpeople, and we are getting back on track. Your book is helping us to take our relationship to a new spiritual level.

We’re only half way through and it’s already affected us. We have both worked so hard all these years with two careers and raising four kids, that we put ourselves last on the list. Once we finish the book we will definitely want to attend one of your weekend workshops. Thank you for writing this book in such an easy loving way that all can understand.”

Frank and Marie Lopresti

 

“Soul Sex is a guide for those who want to leave the old western perception of love making behind and shift to the art of divine humans expressing love through the channels of our soul. The authors share an authentic and wholistic view that brings new hope to couples who desire to stretch beyond limitations and move into a more thriving partnership that deepens and brings true connection of union in the soul sex experience.”

Claire Papin, Co-host of Wisdom Today Radio Show

 

“I would like you to know that we LOVE your book! We will include it in our webstore and our workshop bookstore. Well done! A great contribution.”

Lokita Carter, Institute for Ecstatic Living

Steve and Lokita Carter facilitate Timeless Loving Tantra and teach Massage and Watsu workshops.

 

 

 

 

“Pala and Al encourage couples to shift away from orgasm as a goal and focus instead on deepening their emotional connection.”

Peggy Edwards, Miroslava Lhotsky, M.D., and Dr. Judy Turner, co-authors of “The Healthy Boomer” and “The Juggling Act”.

 

“The authors are married, appear to be over 50, and teach Tantric classes for couples, so you won’t find those positions that only work for perfect bodies under 25. You will find ideas to modify positions for tender knees, and lots of sensual and gentle intimacy builders, along with thought provoking questionnaires. Includes ideas on positions and how energies flow between lovers, as well as visualizations to enhance the flow. Nice and practical.”

Norma Gentile – A recording artist (3 solo CDs), channel for Archangel Michael and the Hathors, and pure intuitive psychic healer. Norma provides private intuitive and channeled sessions, concerts, and workshops.

 

“I must start by saying this was quite an interesting read and love the idea that two people can connect so completely. …

I also found some of the meditations to be quite helpful for not just becoming comfortable with my sexuality, but also accepting who I am and what I am to become as a woman. …”

Excerpts from a review on amazon.com by FireLily2279, Mansfield, Ohio

 

 

“I was delighted with the authors’ approach to one of the great Hindu traditions. It is written for a wide audience and is illustrated with photographs…and it is educational reading that deserves a large readership. Each chapter is helpful…Appendix A is a detailed listing of references and resources covering useful books, music, videos, and internet resources. Appendix B contains a list of exercises. Chapter notes are included. The index is arranged in a helpful manner for quick reference…This book, with its honesty and spiritual approach, should find many readers.” Review by Lee Prosser

 

“Soul Sex: Tantra for Two deserves a prize, both for the quality of its writing and the choice of material making up the content. No, it’s not for titillation, but for holistic relationship building and physical/spiritual bonding that this book is valuable. If anything, the occasional black-and-white photos are downright unappealing. But on virtually every page is an inspiring and fresh articulation of just what is missing in so many of today’s ordinary love relationships. The authors are well-versed in the literature of contemporary Tantric teachings, and they also bring an obviously well-experienced perspective from their own relationship journey. The book is so comprehensive, in fact, that often the writing skips rather too quickly over the many methods for deeper, more intimate and more spiritual connection. Or, maybe that’s as it should be: not a blueprint for ecstasy, but rather a collection of points that might be stimulated further with the reader’s own creativity. In the meantime, there are profound truths to chew on, such as the following:

“The arbitrary separation of body, mind, and spirit in most cultures is an intellectual, psychological, and emotional tragedy of incalculable proportions. This error of judgment has been the cause of great suffering for countless generations of people. It is now time for sexual healing that can only be possible by reuniting sexuality and spirituality. (p. 15)”

William N. Gray “(Nowick)” on Amazon.com

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Professional Reviews

 

Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, By Pala Copeland and Al Link is rated: “!!!! Exceptional” by “Today’s Books: Abstract & Index”, May 26, 2003. This is in the top 10 percent of all books published in the USA in 2003.

 

School Library Journal, May 1, 2003

“A Canadian couple, Copeland and Link have practiced Tantra since 1987 and run Tantra workshops since 1997. Their book concentrates on heterosexual relationships and making sexuality a focus in one’s partnership. Helpful drawings and charming photos of “real-body” people, plus an excellent annotated bibliography, substantially support the text.”

Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.

 

Come As You Are Sex Shop, Toronto Canada

“Written by long time Tantra practitioners, this book is a guide for beginners and experts alike. With a focus on learning, teaching and evolving sexually to create a passionate, emotionally rich relationship. Soul Sex is full of practical information, discussions and exercises to motivate couples with a down to earth focus on pleasure.

 

Omega Source, Vol.5, Issue 2, Spring/Summer 2003, Omega Centre Bookstore, Toronto Canada.

“If you are in a loving relationship but feel that something is missing, the teachings in

Sacred Sex might be just what you are looking for. It is a sensitive, intelligent and well

written book.”

 

Abebooks-Mercury Retail, Auckland, New Zealand

“An enthralling and highly recommended read.”

 

seemagazine.com

”For both beginners and the experienced,

Soul Sex helps couples create a deeper, more spiritual, and hotter connection.”

 

 

Soul Sex Excerpts

You can download a PDF file which has excerpts from each chapter as well as additional information.

Download the Soul Sex PDF file HERE.

 

Order Information

 

Order Soul Sex from Amazon.com.